This New Year’s Eve, in a very last minute decision, I decided to go over to a friend’s house for a small get together. It was there that someone asked me, “So, 2011. Good year, or good riddance?” My initial reaction was “Good riddance!” After dealing with Ron’s death in December, the whole year was instantly painted with that brush of grief. However, the more I thought about it, the more I came up with some positive contributions that 2011 made on my life. This past year I started my new job- which I absolutely love. Through that job, I met some really fantastic people, that make coming to work every day a pleasure. We laugh together, we offer advice when needed, we can talk for days about nothing of any significance, and we genuinely care about one another. When Ron died, I received countless texts, emails and flowers from them all. It meant a lot to have co-workers that I can truly consider “friends.”
In addition to the new job and new friends, I went on a fabulous European vacation for two weeks. I saw cities I’ve never seen before and had new experiences that forced me out of my comfort zone (i.e. three hour naked Euro-spa!) Sometimes being really uncomfortable can help you find strength and confidence. It can also make for some great stories and memories. Also on that trip, I rediscovered my love of languages and history. Perhaps that will segue nicely into the new year?
In 2011, I saw two of my college girlfriends marry two extraordinary guys. Both couples inspire me with their adoration and respect for one another.
On the other end of the 2011 spectrum, I experienced the dissolution of my three year relationship, and so kindly, you all experienced it with me (thank you!). But hindsight being what it is, I don’t think I ever really believed that one was going to work. I wanted it to, so badly, and I fought for it with every part of me, but in the end, I know it wasn’t meant to be. I deserve so much more.
This year was also the 5 year anniversary of losing Mom. A struggle, no doubt, but also a reminder in how far I’ve come. I also dealt with the final fallout from my last job. For the sake of my career I’ll refrain from detailed comment, but I will simply note that they managed to make things less than ideal for me. However, that said- they’re hold on me is official done and I’m finally free and clear so they can no longer weigh me down in 2012.
And of course the loss of Ron has been a tough blow during the holiday season which brings me back to my initial thought of “good riddance to 2011.” I feel like each year when December 31st rolls around, I’m ready for that fresh start. A clean slate. I remember writing about New Years a few years ago, and I wrote “so far the new year is going well, no one has died yet.” I was still in a bit of a dark place then. Things have started to lighten up a bit for me. I’m still not in the “life is all sunshine and rainbows and nothing can bring me down” place, but for now, I’m just going to “keep it real.” My life is what it is; I deal with the cards as I’m dealt them. Sometimes I get a good hand, sometimes I don’t. Let’s see what the dealer for 2012 has in store for me.